


The Invincible Iron Man

by DuskAndDawn1234



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: #tonydeservedbetter, Angst, Avengers Endgame Fix it, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bound Together, Character Death, Fate, Fix It, Fix It Fic, I'm so sorry, M/M, Red String of Fate, Russo brothers better watch their ass i'm gonna smack em, Soulmates, Starker, eventually happy ending?, fix the damn thing, yes you heard me i said soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-02-10 21:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18668290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuskAndDawn1234/pseuds/DuskAndDawn1234
Summary: Death comes for us all.eventually.Tony stark doesn't fear death. Not the concept itself.The only thing about death he truly fears is to be forgotten and to hurt the ones he loves the most.Don't we all?





	1. Ruby Red Roses.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING.  
> this story contains MAJOR Endgame spoilers, for your own safety and happiness please do not read this until you're aware of the ending in the movie. Or if you don't care about spoiling the movie for yourself. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~
> 
> Now for those of you who are left.  
> This is filled to the brim with angst ( i know, shocker ) I apologize for that but you know how it is on this bitch of an earth.  
> i HIGHLY recommend, as the author, to enrich your reading experience by listening to the interstellar main theme in the background while reading this. You are free to do as you please and it's not mandatory, but i wrote this while listening to that piece of art and personally think that it goes really well together. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDsCtDRV2uA
> 
> Right-click, loop, and have fun.  
> i hope this story will touch you as it did me while writing it.  
> let me know what you think, comments are HIGHLY appreciated. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“  _ I’m sorry... _ “  
  
The words shattered into millions of little tiny pieces. Like a mirror hitting the ground. Apologies on his deathbed. The kid was apologizing. He felt guilty. He felt responsible.    
Tony tried to respond, tried to move his lips but nothing happened. He was fading.    
_ It’s not your fault Peter!..it’s not your fault! _ _  
_ Peter’s expression did not change, he still looked at Tony as if his life was falling apart in that very moment. Seeing the person you love most break is the worst kind of pain. It’s true. There is nothing worse than knowing you caused it. Knowing that you’re tearing their world apart for the greater good. The end goal. For the people who cannot help themselves. One last sacrifice.    
  


His hand twitched, he could feel himself slipping.    
_ No.. no i’m not done yet... I’m not done! He needs to know!  
_ _  
_ Darkness crept into his vision, slowly, moving from the outside inward and blurring his vision.    
Peter clung to him, wept, there were tears in his eyes, and he embraced him.    
“ Don’t go tony!  _ Don’t go! _ Please! We won! We won Tony! “   
  
The last thing his mind could capture as his vision went dark was soft lips pressing against his own. And the brush of hair against his cheeks as peter collapsed against him.    
  
“  _ Don’t go! Don’t leave me here!  _ “     
But the damage was done. The mighty iron man breathed out his last breath. And the arc reactor in his chest flickered. It’s light slowly fading until it went dark completely.    
  


  
\------------   
  
  


Empty.    
The soul and fire that had once rested in those eyes died. And all that remained was his body. And his tears.   
Peter knelt there, clutching the lifeless form that had been smiling moments before, in his arms. And he cried. Wailed. Screamed.    
Nothing happened. No heroic moment of re-animation. No one rushing in to bring him back and save his life. No magic. No heroes. No gods.    
He watched helplessly as the faint blue glow of the arc reactor finally faded out into nothing.    
  
Time stopped dead in its tracks.    
He didn’t jump back to life And in that moment Peter realized that he would never feel those lips on his own again. Never feel the brush of his hand on the small of his back when he was nervous. Never hear the soft singing as he woke to Tony beginning their day together. Never again would he wake from a nightmare and have strong arms take away the hurt. Never would he look into dark brown eyes and see the joy in them as he smiled at him. Never. Never again. Never was final. Never was set in stone. Never was forever.    
No one seemed to understand. They tried to drag him away. Tried to speak to him. But their words were nothing but muted noise. Rumbles in the distance. Hands pulling on him.    
  
_ No.. I won’t let you take him from me!  _

  
Peter carried him. Carried him through the rubble and destruction that they’d left in their wake. They were supposed to win. And they did. Why did it feel like they lost more than they could ever replace? Why did this win feel more empty than their loss?    
He had imagined the end, but not like this. He had dreamed of them reuniting and walking out of this together. Instead, he was left to carry him home. People were staring. Staring at his loss, his tears. But no one intervened again, they let the boy do what he needed to do.    
  
His face carried no emotion, no longer was it warmed with that trademark smile that Tony wore everywhere. Even when he didn’t want to, he smiled and hid his pain from others because he wanted them to feel strong.    
Where was that smile when he needed it most? The smile that never failed to make him feel loved. To make him push on when he felt like he could no longer stand.    
Peter brought Tony home, and thereupon the silver tables of banners lab he laid him down.    
  
He was cold.. There was nothing left of him. Of Tony. Only his body. Not his soul.    
They told him to leave, told him that they would take care of him now, prepare him for a burial. They brought in a coroner, but Peter refused. If anyone was going to wash and touch the man he loved it was going to be him. Not some nobody from the street. Him. he would wash him. He would clothe him. He would carry him down and he would lay him to rest.    
  
If it had to be anyone.. It would be him.    
  


 

\-------------   
  


  
From all the people that dwelled in Tony's life pepper was the only one who seemed to understand the grief that Peter was going through. She loved him once, just the same, and the younger man found in her a pillar. Someone who understood. Someone who cared.    
She helped prepare a funeral, included him, asked him what he would like to be arranged. And when the tears became too much she would wrap an arm around him and pull him close.    
  
“ We have to.. “ she’d say. “ For him. He would want us to. “    
  
Peter knew she was right. But when the day came and he was standing in front of the mirror in his room. Wearing a black suit and tie. Staring into his own eyes.    
He saw nothing of the person he used to be. There was no light in him. It was as if someone had flipped his switch after Tony had died. Like he was the one getting buried today. The worst part was he would not have minded if he did.     
  
“ Hey honeybun.. “    
Aunt may stepped into his room, leaning onto the door frame as she watched her nephew stare into the mirror. She respected his space and came no further.     
“ You alright?.. “    
  
He wasn’t.    
But his aunt meant the world to him. And saying the truth would break her heart. She already lost him once. And Peter knew she wouldn’t be able to lose him again.    
“ Yeah.. “   
  
“ We have to go soon.. “    
  
“ I’ll be there.. “    
  
She wore a sad smile, he caught the moment her expression fell from where he was standing. When she left he straightened his tie. Took a deep breath and followed her.    
  
  


 

\-------------   
  


 

  
From death came life.    
He opened his eyes. At least.. That’s what he thought. But he was met with blackness. Nothing but a void. No booming voice coming from the heavens, not that he expected to end up there anyway if that whole story was supposed to be believed. Yet no pitchfork digging into his sides either. No everlasting flames and torture.    
  
Just black, empty, nothingness.    
  
“ Hello? “    
There was a tremble in his voice as it echoed into the expanse in front of him, though there was no sign of a wall anywhere to echo it back to him. The sound seemed to go on forever before fading away, too far to hear.    
  
“ Hm.. strange.. “    
  
Slowly he lifted his hands to his face. They were visible. Corporeal. he stretched his fingers and balled his hands into fists.    
“ Everything seems to be working fine so far.. “    
  
That’s when he noticed a surprising lack of arc reactor light bouncing from his skin, and as he glanced down he could see the light in his chest had indeed gone out.    
It was Frightening to see it like this, broken and shattered.   
His armor was still on him, it was damaged and pieces were missing. But it was there. The only thing missing was the beating of his heart in his own ears, or the rushing of blood in his veins. It would lead one to conclude they were indeed dead.    
  
He scanned the place, as far as he could. Were those lights in the distance? Or were his eyes fooled by the suffocating darkness. And.. where was peter?    
He could feel his throat clenching up as he thought of him. Tony needed to get back to him. Wherever this place was he needed to get the _ fuck _ out.    
  


Before he could wrap his head around this absurd situation, as he floated weightless in space. A voice came. From above and below, from left and right and all around him. It shook him through his very core, his bones, if they were even real, shuddered as the noise flowed through him like a wave crashing into a rocky shoreline.    
  
“  **I am here** “    
  
Tony swallowed. It was not what he’d been expecting. But then again he hadn’t planned on dying either. Nor to end up in purgatory.    
  
“ Who… who are you? “    
  
“ **I am nothing. I am everything. I am Death.** “    
  
“ Oh.. oh okay. Yeah. that explains it, pal. Could you tell me why i’m awake and not rotting away in the ground? Because right now i’m pretty sure this is  _ the most _ freaky thing to ever happen to me. And since you are the only one here..i could use some help. “    
  
Death. He was talking to death. Well.. so much for the grim reaper being a fable then. Who knew being dead would be such a mind-blowing experience.    
  
“  **You wish to know where you are?** “    
“ If you could be so kind. Yes. “    
  
“  **You are in the void. My void. My dwelling.** “    
  
“ Alright.  _ Void _ . Cool. “    
If he’d been alive right now he knew for certain he’d be having a panic attack. A void? Is that where all the assholes went then? Suitable perhaps. Good news? No, that it was not.    
  
“  **You died.** “     
  
“ No shit, Sherlock. “    
  
Tony let out a sigh, he was stagnant in this place, there was no gravity. No light. Nothing. Just endless dark. Disorienting emptiness.    
The voice was silent now, perhaps it was waiting for something. But what?    
“ So.. what happens now? Lake of fire or pearly gates. I would take anything over just hanging here. “    
  
“  **Happens. Happens not. You mortals are so impatient. No.. no fire. No gates. There is a problem.** “    
  
“ Problem? Well. tell me about it. I was supposed to be eternally resting and now i’m awake. What’s the problem? “    
  
“  **_You were not meant to die._ ** “    
  
Tony’s lips stopped, and he stared straight ahead as those words sank into his very being.    
Not meant to die. Not meant to leave.    
_ Peter.. Oh sweet peter.  _ All alone now. His heart, despite not beating, broke as he thought of the pain his lover was enduring. 

He didn’t get time to dwell.   
Suddenly, he could feel the air rushing past his ears, he was being moved, being pulled. And in the distance a light. Faint. Flickering. Like a small star in the night sky barely visible. Casting down onto a red string. He could not see either end, those disappeared into the darkness beyond his sight. only the breach in between. Right in the middle, the string was broken. Torn. pulled apart.   
Though either end, wherever they led, remained strangely stable.   
  
“ **See here.** “ the voice said again. “ **Your fate. And another. Broken.** “  
  
“ All i see is a broken piece of string. “   
  
“ **Broken. Torn. yet it has not reached its end. It was not supposed to snap, but it did.** “   
  
“ I need more.. I… i am confused.. What is this string? “   
  
“ **Humans. Always needing more when little is enough. Very well. I will show you in a way you can comprehend.** “   
  
The string disappeared, so did the light. The darkness seemed to glimmer and change and morph into something entirely different. There was colour bleeding into the void, and taking shape. Trees. Grass. Flowers. His feet touched the ground for the first time since he woke up here. And the endless black was slowly replaced with a meadow. Like one on earth. Tony stared in awe as the spectacle unfolded. Watching as the void was filled with nature out of thin air. It was like standing on an island floating in space. He could not see the end of this mirage either, it still disapeared and faded out where his eyesight became too weak.   
  
But there was no sky. As Tony craned his head back and gaped at what would normally be blue air dotted with clouds, he could see an endless and never ceasing web of red strings in its stead.    
Over, under, through each other, like an impossible tangled mess of Christmas lights, only made up entirely of red thin strings.   
  
  
“ **There we are..** “   
A voice called out. It wasn’t as booming and soul-shaking as it had been before. Seemingly it, whatever it was, had adapted itself to something a human could fathom. A kindness that wasn’t lost on him. The figure stepped forth from the shadows at the edge of the meadow. A woman, old and frail looking. Tony turned to her, watching as she approached. The more he saw of her the less she seemed human, her clothes were made from shadowy wisps, leaving her form obscured. And her long pale white hair stretched on behind her, almost weightless as she moved without making a sound.   
  
She stopped in front of him, and lifted her head, revealing her face, which was normal, except for her eyes.   
Tony felt a shiver run up his spine as he met her gaze. Instead of pupils the entirety of her eyes was black and filled with stars, nebulas, and space itself. The longer he looked the more he was drawn in. the more he could see.   
  
“ What are you?.. “   
  
His voice was far more unsteady than he would like to admit. The woman smiled.   
“ **I am death. Some call me the weaver. I have taken this form to suit your needs, i hope it suffices. I am not used to taking a human form.** “   
  
“ Are you a god? “   
  
The woman laughed. As if the question alone amused her greatly, her voice was fragile. But Tony wasn’t an idiot. He knew this was a powerful being. Whatever she was it was probably best to stay in her good graces.   
  
“ **I am not a god. I am beyond gods and myths. I am as old as time. As old as space. I weaved the fates of every being. Alive and dead. All come and go. All fade. But i am** ** _eternal_** **.** “   
  
“ Am i dreaming this?.. “   
  
“ **No.. you have passed on. They mourn you now, those you love. But something went wrong. Horribly wrong.** “   
  
“ What do you mean? “   
  
“ **I weave the fates of all. I weaved yours too, into my web of endless red strings of fate. I know your beginning and your end. I am death and** ** _i wait._** **But you came too soon. You did not end like you were supposed to. And that my dear..** ** _Has never happened._** “   
  
How was anyone supposed to react to _that?_ He was dead. Even though he wasn’t supposed to be? He ran his hand through his dark brown hair and breathed out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.   
  
“ **_Whatever shall i do with you now?_** “ the old lady sighed. Her hands folded in front of her ever-changing robes. Shifting and churning.  “ **Your string that attaches you to the one you love, the one made for you, it is broken. Your anchor is hanging by a thread. Your peter. He is broken too. It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did.** “ 

  
Despite the power flowing so ever clearly through this being. He could not help but ask. There was no harm in trying was there?  _ Peter needed him _ . There were tears welling up in his eyes at the mere mention of his name. If there was a way, he would take it.  _ Anything  _ was better than simply disappearing into death. Even if it had been for the greater good.     
  


“ Please...whatever you are. Whatever this place is. If I’m not meant to be dead then.. _ Please, i need to go back _ . He needs me. I don’t care how.. _ I just need to go back _ . “    
  
“  **Perhaps..** **_Perhaps we can find a way_ ** **.** “    
  
  
  


\----------   
  


 

  
There’s a certain feeling.    
One that overshadows his very being. His very soul. The words he knows are not enough, maybe they never will be. Maybe the pain he feels simply cannot be described by language.    
It is a blanket, thrown over the world and blocking out the sun. pulling all the life and joy out of everything he sees. The green in the trees and the colourful flowers he sees are greyer than he remembers them. Have they always looked this way? Or are his eyes fucking with him?    
  
The funeral was months ago now.. 

He remembers their faces. Solemn. Sad. looking at him with pity carved into their expressions.    
Peter hated it. Hated how they were looking at him instead of Tony's casket. Even now, when he was being laid to rest, he wasn’t getting the love and admiration he so deserved. It angered him beyond belief.    
  
The smell of roses haunts him.   
It brings back memories of the funeral, of the endless amount of red ruby roses that had been laid on top of the casket. Of all the Avengers holding one and laying it on Tony's grave before the earth was thrown on top of it.    
It is another thing he can never experience again without thinking about him, being reminded of him. Another thing robbed of him by death.    
It’s like marks being left on his canvas, and he can’t get them off. He can’t get them out of his head.    
  
Peter shakes.    
It’s raining. It has been all week. There’s no end to it. It’s like the sky is weeping with him to hide his tears and it’s working. No one sees that he’s crying. He’s become so good at hiding it now.    
May tried to talk to him, but failed.    
  
“ You don’t have to go out there every day peter. It’s raining.. You’ll get sick.. “    
  


She meant it well.    
But peter no longer cared about getting sick or going to school or work. It didn’t matter anymore. None of it did.     
  
He steps off the bus and walks up the stone path to the cemetery. The overhanging trees are slowly dancing in the sky. The wind playing with them as he walks through the metal gate at the front and follows the pebble path. Endless graves, names missing, faded, some have been visited recently. Others have passed into obscurity, overgrown with ivy and weeds.     
He knows how to find it without having to ask, the keeper of the grounds knows his face. He says nothing. It is the only person he can stand these days. The only person that doesn’t bother him with things that don’t matter anymore.    
  
He is not the only one who visits here. Fans from all corners of the globe travel to the grave of iron man and leave mountains and mountains of flowers. Roses, daisies, forget-me-nots. All wanting to show their love and their grief for their hero. It is the one moment he smiles. When he walks up to the hill where tony is laid to rest. And sees more and more flowers appearing every day.    
  
There are no other graves around, not here, up the winding path there are many. But here there is space. Just him, and a tree overhanging the grave. It would blossom in spring and bring down endless seas of pink flowers.    
He kneels by the stone, and lays another rose on the freshly stirred earth. The pouring rain is seeping through his clothes. Sticking to his skin. He doesn’t feel it anymore.    
“ _ I’m here baby.. _ “    
His throat aches, he doesn’t speak as much as he used to. Only when he’s here. Only to the one he loves.    
“ _ I miss you..  _ “    
  
Slowly , reverently, He runs his fingers over the engraved marble.    
  


_ Anthony Edward Stark _ _  
_ _ May 29th 1980 - April 26th 2023 _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Beloved protector of earth.  _ _  
_ _ You shall never be replaced.  _ _  
_ _ You shall never be forgotten.  _ _  
_ _ You will forever be our Iron Man.  _ _  
_ _ Rest in peace.  _ _  
_ _  
_ The words are etched in stone. Never to be erased.   
But they are not whole. They are not him. No gravestone can bear the weight of the Tony stark shaped hole in his chest that seems to be growing larger with each passing moment.    
  
Peter shivers as he watches over him, as the cold seeps into his very being and it makes him feel like he can join tony down there any time now.    
He waits.    
It never happens. And he can’t do it himself.    
  
By the time he gets home the sun has long since gone down. May is pouring herself into her work so she doesn’t have to see him grieving. He cannot stand the empty house, and closes the door as quickly as he opened it.    
He walks, the rain has stopped but his clothes, His clothes are drenched. Every step he takes leaves a small puddle on the pavement. A trail following his every move.    
  
The tower looms in the distance and without him noticing he takes several turns, the little number of people that are on the street at this hour pay him no mind. And it is exactly what he wanted.    
To fade away. To blend into the background and simply  _ stop being _ .    
  
He doesn’t remember how he got here. He hasn’t been back in the lab since before he was snapped away and taken into the soul stone.    
He lacks the strength at first to step inside. And remains in the door opening of the workshop.  _ His workshop _ . And for a moment, just for a moment. He closes his eyes. And he can hear the tinkering in the background.. The music coming from the old radio tony insisted on keeping, the whirring of dumm-e as he helps put into place something metal. He can hear the scribbling of a pen on paper, and the chuckle as he runs his lips up tony’s neck.     
  
And for a moment.    
Just a moment.    
Tony is  _ alive _ .  _  
_   
  
  
  



	2. The Infinity of your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's mission has only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter to my slightly ambitious fix it fic.   
> this chapter almost didn't happen, but thanks to the support of dear friends and fans i decided to keep writing even if only a hand full of people will read it. their enjoyment is worth it after all. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!   
> Thank you sam for being my wonderful beta reader, i don't know if i could do this without you darling <3 
> 
> Please leave a comment! it makes my day to read them!

Waves crashing into a rocky shoreline is the first thing he can hear. The distant rumbling rolling into him in a steady pace. He can smell the salt in the air. The scent of clean sheets that have been in a closet for a while, the coffee that’s just been made and mixes into the symphony of smells and sounds, making it complete.    
  
There’s a hand on his thigh, warm, it caresses the swell of his hip, and runs up his skin until it reaches his spine, but it doesn’t stop. It keeps going, traveling up and gracing his cheek, it is a hand he knows well. Rough from years of working and yet gentle at the same time. It captures his chin and forces him without much effort to turn his head. Peter opens his eyes and what he sees makes his breath hitch inside his throat. The golden light from the mediterranean sun is cascading in through half closed white curtains. Bathing the man next to him in an almost heavenly glow.    
  
Peter smiles.    
“ _ Tony.. _ “    
  
Tony smiles back at him, his pearly white teeth in strong contrast with his tanned skin. He is perfect like this. Hair mused from sleep, a dazed look in his eyes like he just woke up from a pleasant dream.    
“Hey there.. Babyboy..“    
  
“Why are you up?..“ peter asks, and stretches, feeling his bones popping back into place. There is no rush. It’s just them up here. The villa they rent every summer. Tony tried to buy it several times already, but peter insisted on just renting it. Not wanting to own a property they only visit every now and then.    
It’s 2 minutes away from the shoreline, and the view is amazing. But they spend their days staring at each other more than they do the sea.    
  
“Just woke up.. Wanted to look at you for a while..“    
  
“Why?“    
  
“Because you’re  _ breathtaking _ .. And i like seeing you so peaceful..“    
  
Peter chuckles and rolls over, resting his head on tony’s chest. The familiar hum of the arc reactor always makes him feel safe.    
“I'm not that pretty.”   
“Yes you are.. You just don’t know it. But i’ll make sure you do.. I’ll tell you as many times as i have to..”    
  
“Oh Tony.. and what if i never believe it?”    
“I’ll keep saying it until the day i die..”    
  
Peter jerks upright, staring at tony in disbelief. Those words made his heart skip a beat, out of pure anxiety. With what they do, the work they do. Dying is always a present risk. But it doesn’t make it less frightening.   
“ _ Don’t say that. _ ”    
“Baby.. sorry.. I wasn’t thinking..”    
Tony pulls him back down, wraps his arms around him and kisses the crown of his head. Burying his nose in those golden brown curls.    
  
“Promise you’ll never leave me..”   
“Peter.. “    
  
“Promise me.. _ I want you to promise me. _ ”    
Peters grip on his fiance tightens, he buries his face in the crook of tony’s neck and tries to block out the thoughts that flood into his mind. Tony lets out a sigh.. Softly rubbing peter’s back and smiling.   
  
“I promise..”    
  
  
\----   
  
  


His eyes open.    
It takes three full minutes as he stares at the ceiling of tony’s bedroom to fully realize that what he just experienced was a dream.    
closing his eyes again he can already feel the tears welling up inside of them.    
He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for. Maybe he simply hopes that sleep will take him again, that he could spend five more minutes just being with the person he needs most on this earth. To feel the warmth of his love.    
  
It doesn’t happen.    
Nothing happens. 

When his eyelids flutter open again he is still met with the same dark and cold room that he fell asleep in. clenched in his arms there is a sweater, well worn. It smells of him. Of warm evenings by a fireplace. Coffee and hot chocolate in winter. It is all he has left.    
  
“Friday.. Lights..“    
  
Slowly the AI follows up the demand, And Illuminates the room they once shared together.    
It is exactly as tony left it. Not a dust particle out of place. His watch is laying next to him on his night stand, his clothes are folded for when he expected to change into them again.    
It feels  _ wrong _ .    
  
It feels so  _ incredibly wrong.  _   
Like a puzzle missing half of the pieces. Peter is left with something broken, unable to stitch it all back together to make it look like something worthwhile. How can half a puzzle be whole?   
He lays there for what seems like forever, listening to the quiet ticking of tony’s watch.    
  
_ I promise.  _ _   
_   
“You promised me..” he finally says. More to himself than to anyone else. “You promised you’d never leave me..”    
  
The room is quiet. There is no response.    
Until friday chimes in, softly.    
  
“There is a video message for you sir. I have been instructed to show it to you in the event that Mister stark did not return from the mission.”    
  
Peter frowns. He doesn’t want to see it. Not really. But he knows that whatever is on there is going to break him. And if he doesn’t see it he will forever wonder what it was that tony wanted him to see.    
  
“Show it to me.. Please..”    
  
A display appears in thin air, and a video pops onto the screen. Reluctantly Peter sits up in bed, still clutching the sweater to his chest and breathing in tony’s scent.    
He feels the lump in his throat. It’s hard to miss it.    
Slowly he reaches up to the display and presses play.    
  
The image of tony appears.    
It seems like ages since he saw his face.    
He’s shaking, trembling all over just by the sight of him. It’s like looking a ghost in the eyes.    
His voice. Just as rough and warm as he remembers it. Begins to speak.    
  
“ _ Peter..  _ _   
_ _ If you’re seeing this, well..it means that i didn’t make it back from this mission.  _ _   
_ _ I’m sorry.. I’m sorry for everything you’re going through right now. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m sorry for not being strong enough.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. _ _   
_ _ Whatever killed me. Whether is was the gauntlet.. Or something else. Know that i love you. And i never wanted to leave you. No matter what you’re my everything. _ _   
_ _ I know you well enough by now. _ “    
The image of tony smiles, and looks down at his engagement ring. There’s tears in his eyes, they reflect in the light of the camera.    
  
“ _ I know you’re not going to take this.. I know you’re going to be angry. And upset. And depressed. And you have every right to be.  But just because i’m not there anymore baby boy, doesn’t mean you should give up on life. Or living it. _ “    
  
He can feel the tears, they are warm as they roll down his cheek and gather on his chin. Before dripping down on his hands. Peter makes no effort to wipe them away. He lets them fall free. Here, in their room. He doesn’t have to feel guilty for crying.    
  
“ _ Whatever you do, you do it to the fullest. You give it your all. It’s okay to fail. Just keep going baby. Keep going, whatever it takes. Don’t let my death be yours too.. You can do so much good in this world.. I believe in you. I know you’re hurt. But i know you can do it baby _ .“    
Tony lets out a deep sigh. The screen flickers.    
  
“ _ You are my one and only peter. You saved my life. Please.. Keep living yours. I love you forever.. _ ”    
The video cuts out. And the deafening silence overwhelms him. Gone is the image of his beloved. Only his words remain, repeating over and over in his head.    
  
His body feels heavy, it’s like he’s moving through syrup. He throws his legs over the edge of the bed and sits there, staring into nothing.   
How can he keep going?  _ What is the point? _ What is the point of living when you feel like you’re dying every second your heart is still beating. How do people go on like this? Suffering for decades until finally being able to rest again when they finally join their lovers in death?   
  
“I can’t do it tony.. Not without you..”    
The silence does not answer back, all he can hear is the endless ticking of that watch.   
“ _ I need you.. _ ” 

  
  


\-----

 

The weaver’s void is strangely comforting now that she decided on keeping the meadow intact. At least for as long as he’s there. The endless floating in black doesn’t really make a human feel at ease, and she understood.. Or pretended to.   
  
He doesn’t need to eat or drink, with the being dead and all. But he tries anyway. There’s strange fruit hanging from the trees. It doesn’t look like anything he’s seen on earth. Purple and fuzzy, soft to the touch like a peach skin, but so vividly coloured that it looks almost poisonous. She smiles as he tries to eat it. Watching him intently.   
  
The taste is strangely sweet, a little buttery. Which is weird coming from a fruit.but not necessarily bad at all. Tony is happily surprised. And turns to see the weaver approaching and taking one, eating it in much the same manner.   
  
“ **The taste. Does it please you?** ”  
She asks, after finishing the purple fruit, the skin and remains of it disappear into thin air. Once again proving this meadow and these trees are simply a figment of her will. She wills it into being and so it exists, but as soon as she makes it, she can decide differently.   
  
“It is sweet.. Very nice actually. Though not very filling.”   
He smiles, knowing the fruit never reached his stomach in the first place. It simply dissolved into nothingness. Like the rest of it.   
  
“What is it? If i may ask.. You do not seem like a being who requires food and sleep like the rest of us pitied mortals. Why the fruits?”   
  
“ **It is from a planet far away from here. Among the stars. In your so called galaxy. There was a people long ago that lived only from the fruit of these trees. They are long gone now. But the thought.. The memory.. It remains. The name of the fruit i cannot tell you. Their language does not use words, but only sounds. All i know is they worshipped these trees and their fruits.** “   
  
Tony sighs. The woman loved her riddles and poetry. He didn’t blame her for it. But it wasn’t quite an answer.   
“But why make them? For me?“   
  
“ **You are someone who appreciates knowledge. No one will ever find their planet. Or a memory of them. So.. i give it to you. You carry the knowledge of that fruit with you when you go back.. Knowing that there once was a race who treasured it. And you tasted it. The only one in the universe who did.** “  
  
There was a silence after those words, and tony stared at the tree intently, committing it to memory. It was a fine gift from his new friend. Something he would hold dear to his heart.   
  
“ **I still do not agree with your plan. But.. you seem determined. And being what i am, i know you are stubborn.** “   
  
“You got that right. I am. But i can’t just sit here and do nothing while the man i love is by himself. Out there. Mourning me. I have to try.“   
  
The lady folds her hands in front of her, and begins to walk back towards the centre of the meadow where a wooden table and two chairs had appeared out of nothing. She sits. And tony does the same.   
  
“ **Neither you nor i know what lies beyond if you return. There is no body to return to. Yours is gone. If i shall send you back, i must tether your soul to something alive. And the only thing i can tether you to, is your loved Peter.** “   
  
“I know that.“   
  
“ **You will be bound to him. Searching for a vessel forever. Is this what you wish?** “   
  
“Once i’m there, i can look for a way back. I _can find_ a way back.“   
  
“ **How are you certain? What if you are forced to watch over your peter forever. Until his life comes to an end. What then? There is no way back here once i let you through. You will be on your own.** “   
  
“I know that. But whatever happens, i know that i will find a way back to him. No matter how long it takes.“   
  
“ **Humans.. They are very persistent..** “   
  
Tony doesn’t give in. despite everything. There is a feeling inside of him. He knows he has to continue this. That he needs to return. No matter the cost. Even if he is doomed to wander aimlessly forever on earth. He needs to try.   
  
“ _Please.._ ” his voice echoes, the weaver looks at him. Her face painted with a sad expression. There is emotion in those eyes, that carry thousands if not millions of stars inside of them. Emotions for beings so small, so fragile. When she is so far above them. Empathy.   
  
“ **Know i feel. Child.** “ she says softly. And reached across the small wooden table to caress tony’s cheek. “ **Your heart, it is pure. I will grant your wish. I want for nothing other than your story to continue** ”  
  
There is something motherly about her. As if all the children of the universe are hers. And she steers them in the right direction. She weaves their fates. But their decisions can change them. He alone is proof of that. If everything was written in stone then he would not have broken the mold. Would not have ended up in her void in the first place.   
Tony smiles. Of all the people on the universe, he was the one to meet her.   
  
“Will i ever see you again?”  
  
It is her turn to smile. She shakes her head, her long pale hair drifting weightless, following the movements she makes.   
“ **If you are fortunate, you will not. You will live out your life and the many outcomes it may have. And you will die peacefully of old age. In your bed. I will not be waiting for you there. You will rest forever. Become part of the universe once again. And continue forever on in the cycle.** ”   
  
The thought is strangely comforting. Tony Stark never believed in a god in the first place. The end is the end. Well… not this time. But one day it will be, if he manages to succeed. And meeting her changed his view of death entirely.   
“What about you?.. Aren’t you lonely here? All by yourself in this place?”   
  
“ **I am eternal. Loneliness does not affect me child. I have the universe as my friend.** ”  
  
He can’t help but chuckle.    
As if he expected anything different from a being so immensely powerful.  
Slowly he stands, and she does too. The table and chairs disappear, into nothing but glittering particles of dust. There’s a certain finality to it.   
“I guess it’s time to go. Thank you.. For doing this. For helping me. The universe seems a little less painful and empty knowing you’re here.“   
  
She takes his hand, meeting his gaze with her endless and strange eyes.   
“ **Know i am watching child. All life must end one day. But for you, i wish the opposite. Come.. i will take you there.** “   
  
They walk, and Tony sees that as they move the edges of the meadow behind them begin to fall apart, Everything that is no longer useful simply fades away into dust. Like the table did. And as they continue to walk the meadow begins to disappear too. All of it. The grass, trees and even the red web of strings fades away. 

 

When there is nothing left but him and her, she stops, and turns. Her old wrinkled hands gently place themselves on his sagging shoulders. He can feel the tension bleeding out of them like she is absorbing his anxiety.    
He knows. This is it.    
  
“Goodbye..“ He says. Knowing that he will never see her again.    
  
She smiles, though he can feel a hint of sadness in her voice.    
“ **Give him the world.. Child..** “    
  


She lifts her hand. Presses her thumb against his forehead. And pushes.    
With the force of a thousand planets. Or so it feels.    
A warmth flows through him. Spreading through his body like a fire. It touches him. She touches his very soul. For a moment. He can see what she sees. He sees through her. The universe. An endless expanse. Forever growing and changing and molding. Never stagnant. And it’s beautiful. The meadow disappears, and he can see infinity. Life. death. Birth. The endless cycle. It’s an explosion of colour in the nothingness. Special. Unique. Holding all these fragile things on all those endless planets.    
For a moment he can see time. He can see space. He can see everything and nothing and it’s overwhelming to his brain. The shapes morph and distort into something unrecognizable to him, sharp edges and warm glows, he is falling. He does not fear the fall, nor the landing. He knows in his heart that this is meant to be. That she will send him back. He turns in his fall, the planets and star systems become a blur as his speed increases. They grow brighter. And he’s falling faster and faster until they are only streaks of light. His breath shakes, it is beautiful and terrifying, the rush of everything against nothing. All at the same time.   
  
The light below him is approaching, he smiles, it is warm and white like a burning star.    
“ _ I’m coming baby.. Hold on for me.. I’m coming home.. _ ”     
  
The fall breaks as he is swallowed by the light.    
Over him comes a moment of bliss. Pure and utter bliss. Like a mother’s embrace of her child.    
It crashes into him, or he into it. And then the light fades.    
  
When he blinks and opens his eyes again, he is met with the sight of his own lab. His  _ home _ . It is just as he left it when he did. And in the middle of all the organized chaos is a boy.    
Such. A beautiful. Boy.    
  
His boy.  _ His man _ . His everything. Tony had never dreamed of feeling this much love. But he does, and it’s a fire inside of him, roaring and screaming and clawing to get out. To give it to one person and one person alone.   
  
“ _ Peter.. _ “ he can feel his legs give out from under him, the mere sight of his lover shaking him to his core. Soulmate. They are soulmates. They were made for each other.    
It all makes sense now. But there is no response.  _ He looks tired. _ .    
Tony steps forward, or so he thinks, not noticing that his body is a translucent blue hue as he phases through the table and through the machinery, trying to get to peter.    
  
“Peter! I’m here baby!“ louder this time. His voice cracks with the weight of his emotion.    
  
But there is still nothing. The boy sits unmoving, staring at the picture frame he is holding in his hands. 

It is then he realizes that the problem doesn’t lie with Peter, it lies with him. He looks down and sees himself, but it’s not as he had hoped. The weaver warned him this would happen, but it did not prepare him for the moment of intense panic as he realizes that Peter cannot see or hear him.    
  
Even though he’s here, to Peter, he’s still just as dead as he was before.    
It’s not comforting. It’s not peaceful. It’s torture.    
  
He is shaking, he can barely keep himself from falling over.    
Peter is silent, staring at a picture. There are tears in his eyes and never before has tony felt  _ this useless. _ He’s right there and he can do nothing to stop the hurting.    
“Baby… oh, baby..“    
He moves closer and reaches for him, ghosting his hand against peter’s cheek. Trying to wipe away the tears that escape the poor boy.    
  
“Don’t cry for me..“ He says again, as he spots the picture Peter is so intently staring at. It’s of them. There’s a blue ocean behind them and they’re both wearing a crown of flowers. Italy. One of the happiest moments from his life.    
  
He needs to show him he’s here.. Somehow. That’s the plan, isn’t it? So let’s get on with it. His heart is breaking, but Peter's heart is crumbling and turning to dust. He needs to do something. Reach him somehow. Tony turns away and begins to look for something to interact with, hoping to find anything.. Anything at all that might respond to him being here.    
  
  


\--------   
  
  


He doesn’t know why, but it’s suddenly a lot colder in the lab. He shivers and sets the picture frame down. He knows tony kept a lot of warm sweaters in his closet, he always used to steal them. Loving the way the warm wool felt against his skin. And how the much too large ones made him feel like he was in a cocoon of sorts.    
He stands. And goes to walk out of the lab. But when he reaches the door he stops.    
There’s a sound. A crackle. Like a dusty vinyl being played on an old record player. One that’s been sitting still for a while.    
  
He turns. There’s no record player in sight. So where did that sound come from?    
His gut knots up, and he wraps his arms around himself like a form of defense. The cold is getting stronger, and the hair on his arms and legs is standing up. Goosebumps creeping over his skin.

The overwhelming feeling comes over him that he’s being  _ watched _ . But as he scans the lab with his eyes, there’s no one there. Not a soul. Just him, him and the silence that has fallen over the entire tower since Tony's death.    
“Pft..  _ you’re freaking out peter _ …“ he says to himself, shaking his head and turning around again. There’s no one here. The equipment is all turned off. There’s nothing to be scared about.    
  
His hand grabs the door handle and he pushes it open.    
  
_...Rrrrr….tzt…. Tzzztttt….  _ **_Click._ ** **_  
_ **   
There’s a cold sweat running down his spine. He stands there unmoving, afraid to even breathe.    
_ That was the switch on the radio.  _ his brain screams it at him. He knows that sound. Tony fiddled around with that thing all the time. He was attached to it. Always making sure it was clean and still working.    
Why.  _ why is it turning on when there’s no one there to flick that switch.  _

  
  


_ \---- _

 

_   
_ It worked.    
Tony actually lets out a rebel yell when he realizes that it’s working. By the time Peter got up to leave he’d tried focusing his energy as the weaver told him, but nothing worked. The machinery was too complicated to give off any sounds or to be manipulated by him.    
  
But the radio. The radio. His mother gave that to him, on his tenth birthday. He’d never let it out of his sight since. Always making sure it went with him wherever he walked in life. It was standing on the right spot in the room with the right acoustics. A crowning relic from his earlier life.    
  
The machinery in that was simple. Wiring and a few buttons. Elementary grade.    
So far he’d only gotten the switch to click on but peter. Peter had noticed! Peter could hear him!    
It was a cry for help.    
  
“Baby! Baby, you know that sound. _ I know you know that sound! _ I know you can hear me baby!“    
He was smiling, but Peter wasn’t. Why was he frozen like that? The boy seemed more frightened than excited. Or happy like him.   
  
So.. he tried again. He had to stop him from leaving. There was no other choice.    
He reached out his hand and touched the radio. Even though his hand went straight through it. And he focused his mind on what he wanted peter to hear.    
Tony didn’t need to think for long. There was only one thing in the world that would let Peter know that it was him. One thing they shared so deeply it was carved into both their memories.   
That’s when the haunting melody began to play. Crackling, stuttering and wavering in and out clearly. Like the signal was weak and had trouble reaching the machine. Elvis’s deep voice warm like butter seeping into the air.   
It was slightly out of tune due to the distortion. But nevertheless trying to stay on rhythm.   
  


 

**_Li..Like..a..r..river….flows..Su..Surely..to...t...the..sea.._ **

**_Da..rling...so..it goes..._ **

**_So..Some..things...are meant...t..to be_ ** ...

  
**_..T...Take...m..my….ha..a..and.._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Take...my...w..hole...li...life too…_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_For i…ca...can’t help.. Falling..i..in..love..with..you…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used. 
> 
> I can't help falling in love with you - Elvis Presley.


	3. Broken Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter reaches out to his friends for help.   
> will he be able to decipher tony's messages?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my wonderful Beta reader sam, and some lovely friends on the starker discord, i was able to break my writers block and keep going. I hope this chapter is to your liking.   
> It was a hard one. now on to the next! :D 
> 
> Comments make my day, please comment if you can :) 
> 
> P.S. thank you for helping me find the perfect song, Ko. <3

**I..can’t..help.. falling in love..with...you…** ****  
  


 

The blood in his veins is pounding in his ears. His heart thudding rapidly in his chest. And his hands shake as he steps away from the door. Hearing the haunting music being played over the wooden radio. The words going round and round in his head like an out of control wheel. Spinning in the mud. He stumbles, his vision disfiguring as if he was looking through a fisheye lens. It’s too much. It’s all too much. He reaches for the desk, but his hand misses the tabletop completely. And as he tries to keep his balance, a wave of nausea crashes into him, sending him wobbling and falling to the floor, there’s tears burning in his eyes and rolling down his face as he lays there. There’s a building pressure on his chest like someone’s piling on weight after weight without realizing that he’s barely able to breathe anymore.    
  
“No… no no… NO… **_STOP_ ** …“ 

His body is spiraling out of control. And he is losing his grip. He can feel it slipping through his fingers like sand as the panic takes him over completely.    
_ Our song. That is our song.  _ **_Our song._ **   
His breathing quickens to the point of hyperventilation, he gasps for air on the floor and he knows he’s alone. He’d never experienced anything like this, it’s frightening, fills him with a sense of dread and confusion.    
_ Am i dying? What is happening to me?!  _ __   
  
“STOP..  **MAKE IT STOP!** “    
He shivers and shakes on the floor, pins and needles running up his legs and his spine, it’s like he’s being torn apart from the inside out. And no one will hear him scream.    
That’s when it all goes black, he simply fades and passes out. He doesn’t hear the music stop, and the radio clicking off.    
  


  
\----    
  


 

If there’s one place he loves it’s this one.    
An endless blue ocean, the salty water lapping at his ankles as he stands at the shoreline. There are strong arms slowly wrapping themselves around his waist. And peter smiles, leaning back into them.    
  
“Hello my little sea nymph..” tony murmurs into his ear.    
Peter chuckles, swaying in tony’s embrace and turning around so he can press his lips against his. They both have a tan, and tony looks even better now. Peter had thought it was impossible for him to get even more beautiful. But the bastard still manages to outdo himself. Sun kissed skin and wide smiles. Even his hair seems lighter due to the sunshine.    
  
They’d been spending two weeks at the villa already. Tomorrow was their last night here, then they would fly back home. Neither of them wanted to leave, but duty called. And work needed to be done even if they were mighty superheroes. Even they had to keep a schedule, and as much as they both wanted to they couldn’t just stay on a beach and drink cocktails for the rest of their lives.    
“Is your surprise ready yet?” peter smirks, and wipes some sand from tony’s chest. The sun is setting behind them, colouring the sky in a vivid blend of red, yellow and orange.    
  
“It is.. Come on. I’ll show you..“    
  
Tony takes his hand and peter follows without question. But the closer they get to the spot on the beach that tony wanted him to stay away from. The harder his heart is beginning to thud inside his chest.    
  
Candles.    
Probably a hundred of them sticking out of the sand in a circle around a bed of rose petals, pink white and red ones.  But the reason he could feel the nerves really building was because there was a lady there. Holding a violin. Standing a few feet from the circle of candles.    
  
There was only one reason tony would go through all this trouble. And peter was overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety. But tony’s hand holding his own was his guide, and he followed into the circle of candles, smiling.    
The sun was nearly gone now, giving the last rays a chance to reach the world before it became dark.    
  
Tony stopped in the middle of the rose petal bed, and turned. They’d been together long enough to see that he was nervous.    
A quick nod to the violin player was enough, she began to play. From it’s wooden body came forth a sound so pure it alone nearly brought tears to peter’s eyes. It was no surprise she was playing their song, but what shocked him was that tony took a deep breath and began to sing.    


  
“ _ Wise men say only fools rush in _

_ But I can't help falling in love with you _

_ Shall I stay? _

_ Would it be a sin _

_ If I can't help falling in love with you?”  _ __   
__   


Tony had never sang before, not like this. Not openly and lovingly and filled with this much emotion. And their eyes were locked, nothing in the world could tear them apart now.    
Their hands were joined, and peter smiled lovingly as his lover serenaded him.    


  
“ _ Like a river flows surely to the sea _

_ Darling so it goes _

_ Some things are meant to be _

_ Take my hand, take my whole life too _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _ ”   
  


Tony stops singing and the violin continues to play. 

Peter is already crying when the older man goes down on his knee, their hands still holding on to each other as if that is all they need in life. And it is.    
  
“Dear peter.. From the moment you came into my life you’ve been nothing but a light in my darkness. I love you more than i can even understand. And i don’t know what i’d do without you..“    
  
Peter feels his lower lip tremble. There’s no doubt now. Tony is going to ask him.. And peter knows his answer. Feels it burning in his heart with a fire that is so strong it roars.    
  
“Would you make me the happiest man on earth.. and.. marry me?”    
  
Time seemed to stand still the moment those words fell from tony’s lips. Finally, after two years of being together and facing the world with each other at their backs. Now was the moment they would finally decide to take this further than they’d ever been.    
  
“Yes.. i will..”    
  
There was no hesitation, no stuttering. Just tears and the brightest of smiles on both their faces, the salty sea wind playing with their hair and clothes. And the flickering candlelight lighting up their eyes.     
Tony let out a deep breath and pulled out the little black box from his pocket. When it opened peter could see a beautiful ring. Silver and gold, intricately designed by one man and one man only.    
  
“Are you sure?.. “ tony says softly, as he rises and slowly slips the ring around peter’s long pale finger. It fits like a glove. “I know i can be a lot of work sometimes..”    
“Yes.. i’m sure.. I’ve never been more sure. Tony..  _ i want to spend the rest of my life with you. _ ”    
  
It isn’t a big and pompous gathering. Nothing in the open. Not in public with tons of people. But it’s exactly what he’d dreamed of. Just him,Tony and the sound of the sea.    
They need nothing more than each other. 

 

  
\------   


  
  
When he wakes he expects to find himself still laying on the cold tile flooring of the lab. But as his mind slowly recovers from the trauma, he realizes he’s back in his own room. The pastel walls and interior having been put there by tony, after they found out it had a calming effect on him.    
The dream seemed so real. And once again it takes him a few moments of painful silence to come down from whatever it was that caused him to go into such a state.    
  
He felt tired, every muscle in his body was sore. Every bone seemed to rub up against another, frail and used up. Every bit of his energy that he still had left was slurped out of him.    
  
“Hey there peter...”    
  
He turns his head. It’s pepper. She looks exhausted, eyes red from crying her heart out. Just like him. She understands like no other the emptiness in his soul.  The emptiness of the world that tony left behind. When he left _ them _ behind.   
  
“Are you alright?..” she asks. And peter can see just how worried she is as she reaches out for him and gently squeezes his knee with her hand.    
“I don’t know..” he clears his throat, hoarse from the screaming. “Did you bring me here?”    
“Yes. Friday called me, told me what was happening. I came as fast as i could.”   
  
More guilt is building up inside of him. Just to help him she had to take time out of her day and come save him from the ghosts in his mind. Like she didn’t have something better to do than to take care of someone like him. Pathetic.    
  
“Peter.. You’ve had a panic attack..I know them, You know them. Tony had them all the time.”    
He winces at the mention of his name. As if speaking it somehow makes his death more real. And if he just doesn’t mention him, he will never have to accept that he’s truly gone.    
  
“Panic Attack? Yeah.. that seems about right.. It felt like someone was trying to kill me”    
  
He was no stranger to being there when tony was caught in a spiral. But being there and supporting someone through one was far easier than actually going through it himself. It revealed to him just how intensely draining it was to go through it.    
  
“These things usually happen for a reason peter..what set you off? What was it? You know you can talk to me right?”    
  


How do you tell someone you love that you’re being haunted? He cannot explain what happened in the lab. It’s not scientific. It’s not rational. Yet he cannot shake the feeling he was being watched. And if he can’t make sense of it, then how can he tell her?    
Maybe he was just losing it. Losing his mind because of his grief. It would only make her more worried.    
She smiles at him. A smile a mother would give her child when trying to make them feel safe. A reassuring gesture. She wants to know. And peter cannot bring himself to lie to her.    
  
“The radio... It.. it just began to play out of nowhere..it played our song..”    
  
  


\-----

  
  


Not even death can stop him from fucking things up for the worse it seems. The moment peter began to panic tony reached out to him, tried to comfort him. But he couldn’t do anything about it. All he could do was sit there and watch as the love of his life went through hell. Only because he was stupid enough to try and reach out to him.    
  
_ He’s better off without you.. _   
  


His mind whispers to him. Knowing his weaknesses. Knowing his faults.    
And maybe the voice is right, maybe peter is better off without him. Maybe time will heal the hurt and he will move on.    
It’s not what he wants. He’s selfish. Always has been.    
  


He watches helplessly as pepper drags peter away from the lab in her arms, crying as she holds his shaking frame. He can feel the pain she feels, and more than ever he wants to cry. Only now the tears won’t come. The dead cannot mourn for the living.    
He walks after her, he knows where she takes the boy before she does. And stands there watching as pepper lays him down on the pastel purple sheets. It was never meant to hurt him. And tony nearly crumbles under the immense weight of his guilt as peter slowly comes to and begins to explain.    
  
It’s like being trapped in a glass box, isolated, but still able to see the world around you. And tony knows now why the weaver warned him. This was a recipe for going absolutely insane.. He needed to find a vessel.. He needed to let them know he was here. But how? Peter went into panic just hearing the radio once. What would happen if he did it again? 

  
  


\-----

  
  


It’s insane. Truly. But peter knows that what he heard was not an illusion. It wasn’t his imagination and it wasn’t simply the ghosts that were dancing around in his head.    
Pepper doesn’t seem to understand. She tries, though, and it is more than he would expect.    
  
“You think Stephen will be able to help you peter?”    
  
“It’s my best guess. He can see things we can’t. Maybe.. If something is there in the lab.. Well maybe he can see it?”    
  
Pepper smiles and tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before standing and taking his hand. She doesn’t quite believe him, but she loves the boy. And if this will make him feel better or more at ease then who is she to stop him. We all grieve in our own ways.    
  
“Alright then, let’s get the doctor, then go up there and see if he can help.”   
  
They wait just outside the lab, peter is visibly anxious. Staring at the entrance to it as if it will burst into flames any moment. Not before long they hear the tell tale fizzle of magic, and a golden circle appears, a gust of wind brings snow and freezing cold with it as the man they asked for help steps through, the portal closes, peter can catch a glimpse of a mountain range trapped in a snowstorm before it fades away.    
Magic never seizes to amaze him.    
The doctor brushes some leftover snow from his cloak and smiles.    
“You called? Well here i am. What do you need such urgent help with?”    
  
Pepper smiles and gently touches peter’s back, a silent comfort meant to make him feel just a little stronger.    
“Peter here just.. Experienced something strange in the lab. And he wanted to ask for your help.”    
  
“Well, it suits the name alright. Strange is my theme. What did you experience?”    
The doctor takes a few strides and opens the door to the lab, but instead of bursting inside he stops, and frowns.    
It’s awfully cold in there. Colder than it should be. Even he can feel that.    
  
“Well.. i was in there alone.” peter starts, noticing all too well the shift of temperature. And his heart jumps up into his throat.    
“I was in there, looking at.. _ Pictures _ .. And then suddenly the radio started playing. It wasn’t a usual broadcast. It was just one song.”    
  
“What song was it?” strange asks slowly.    
  
“The song tony played when he proposed to me..”    
  
Strange takes a deep breath. In all the realities he witnessed, many things changed. In some stark was alive. In some he died. But he didn’t expect this. He didn’t see this in any of the realities.    
The doctor steps inside, eyes focused on the radio peter mentioned. There’s a strange blue hue around it, one only he appears to see.    
  
“ _ Strange indeed.. _ ” he mumbles softly. 

  
  


\-------

  
  


“I’m right here you blind idiot! I’m here! Don’t you see me?  _ Hello?! _ ”    
Tony waves his arms like a madman, dances around the lab as if it makes a difference.    
But strange doesn’t see him. Peter was smart, so much smarter than him. But it wouldn’t change a goddamn thing if strange didn’t see him or hear him or at least confirm there was something going on.   
  
He sighed, deflating. And walked back to the radio. If this went right it meant people were at least aware that he was there. If it went wrong he might make peter panic again. Maybe he’d throw away the radio and be done with it.    
But he only had one shot at this.   
“I’m doing this for you baby boy.. I’m sorry..”    
  
He reached out to the radio once again and focused his energy. He was getting weaker. And he didn’t know how many uses of this he had left.    
If they didn’t hear him now, they might never hear him again, the thought of that terrified him to his core.    
  
Rzzzzttttzt... _ click. _   
  
The radio responded to him once again, and the song that played was different from the one he used before.    
The reason why? He didn’t know. Perhaps it was the shift of mood he’d gone through. Maybe it was the presence of the other people in the room.    
He seeks eye contact with peter and watches his expression shift as the music begins to play.    
It’s unclear at first, but the signal seems stronger. And the music clearer. No longer does it fade out.   
**_  
_ ** ****

**_So close, no matter how far..._ **

**_Couldn't be much more from the heart..._ **

**_Forever trusting who we are..._ **

**_And nothing else matters…_ **

 

**_Never opened myself this way..._ **

**_Life is ours, we live it our way…_ **

**_All these words I don't just say.._ **

**_And nothing else matters..._ **

**_Trust I seek and I find in you.._ **

**_Every day for us something new.._ **

**_Open mind for a different view.._ **

**_And nothing else matters.._ ** ****_  
_ **_  
_ **

The room falls silent when the music stops and the radio clicks off again.    
Peter is white as a sheet. And trembling.    
It can’t be a coincidence, it can’t be.    
  
No one seems able to comment on what just happened. And even strange seems baffled.    
Tony on the other hand is waiting, waiting for a sign that someone can see him. The tension in the room is so strong it makes him shake.    
Finally, peter speaks softly. And he’s smiling as the tears roll down his face.    
“ _ It’s him.. _ ” his words roll out with such finality and reverence, that no one seems willing to defy it.    


 

“ _ It’s Tony.. _ “ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used - 
> 
> Nothing else matters - Metallica


	4. The Twilight Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and peter come up with a plan. but they're going to need some help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow.  
> that took a long time to write. much longer than i wanted it to be. throughout the process of writing this chapter i was dealing with a LOT of anxiety and feelings of insecurity.  
> it was hard, and i got stuck in writers block for a good amount of the time, unable to get a single word out. i hope that you will enjoy it and won't be disappointed.  
> \----- 
> 
> big shoutout to my beta reader sam, for helping me get through all this. <3 ily babe  
> and i want to make out a special thank you to the anon and my friend kheeta, who commented on the last chapter and made me feel like this story really does matter and is worthy of praise. all you commenters are great but i really was brought to tears by those two.  
> and thank you to the discord pals cheering me on, the support is really helping me keeping this going despite my perfectionism. <3
> 
> Thank you @lilsoshie! you have sent me my first fanart based on a story i wrote and i'm... shook!!! <3 <3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/585143814864502786/587306496623247378/20190610_014550.jpg

They look at him, their expressions say enough. He doesn’t need their words but they give them anyway. They’re worried, afraid even. Peter knows he should have kept his mouth shut when pepper slowly walks up to him, tears in her eyes. And lays a hand on his shoulder.    
“ Pete.. maybe you should go and rest for a bit. “ she says. But it is nothing but insult to injury.    
  
_ They think I'm insane.  _ _  
_   
“ Yeah. I agree with miss potts. Maybe you just need some sleep peter. “    
  
There’s a frown cutting lines into his face, and peter pulls away from them both.    
It hurts being alone, but not being believed hurts even more. Their attempts to calm him down only work against them.    
“ I’m not crazy. You heard it too! “    
  
“ I did.. But peter, just because it’s playing songs doesn’t mean that Tony somehow is communicating with you. “    
  
Pepper tries to reach for him again but peter jumps back. No. he’s not going anywhere. He’s not going to sleep. Not now. Not ever.    
Tony needs him.    
Slowly he moves away from them, he can see the hurt and pity in their eyes and he hates it. Hates that they think he’d gone mad with grief. That he needs to be held and taken care of. That he can’t tell reality from his dreams.    
  
“ Go away. “    
  
It’s more sharp than he would have wanted, but his heart aches. And he aches to be alone.    
  
“ Peter.. Please.. We only want to help. “    
  
“ Go! I’m fine. I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly okay. “   
  
Stephen sighed, the boy obviously felt the need to be alone. And as much as they wanted to help, perhaps just leaving him be was better than dragging him away. Peter turned his back to them, resolute, not wanting to spend another second being berated.    
  
“ Come miss potts.. Maybe peter just needs some time alone. If you want our help, we’re always there for you peter. Just so you know. “    
  
The wizard moves towards the exit and pepper follows hesitantly. Peter can hear the opening of a portal before the door falls shut behind them. And the silence returns.    
It is not heavy and empty anymore, though it still makes him uncomfortable.    
He stands there for a good long while, listening to the soft humming of the equipment tony has stored in this lab. This workshop. Built with his own two hands.    
  
Slowly he turns, his eyes focusing on the radio with a newfound strength. Determination creeping it’s way back into his pained psyche.    
  
“ If you’re there. I need to know. “    
  
His voice shakes and trembles. But not as much as his hands, when he walks over to the old wooden radio and reaches out to it. The wood is cool against his skin. Buzzing with something unfamiliar.    
  
“ Tony.. if you’re there.. Turn it on.  _ Show me. _ “ 

 

Peter cannot see him.    
But the boy is smart. And he knows that this isn’t just a coincidence. Or some tortured twist of fate. This is real.    
Tony ghosts his hand over peter’s pale cheek and smiles. Inside of him there’s a love blooming he’s never felt before Peter came into his life, bringing his sunshine and endless smiles.    
  


_ Rrrrzzttz… Click.  _   
  
Peter’s exhale is paired with a whimper.    
There’s no words he can say that fully express the feeling that overcomes him. Sadness. Relief. Happiness. Confusion. It’s all mixed into one painful and burning balm. That seems to both hurt and heal his broken heart at the same time.    
  
“ You’re here..  _ I knew it. _ . I knew you wouldn’t leave me.  _ You promised. _ “ 

  
  


\-----------  
  
  
If he could cry then he would have, the moment peter embraces the radio and presses it against his chest there’s a surge of energy and acknowledgement flowing through him. He knows. Peter knows. The first step has been made and from this point forward all he needs to do is keep going.   
There’s a strange energy in the air. He feels a little more real. A little more grounded in this reality. Like someone is putting him back together piece by little broken piece.   
He smiles as peter speaks to him. Up until now he has only spoken through him through their music. The songs they loved and listened to in their life together. But tony can sense something has changed. He feels _stronger._   
  
So he reaches out again towards the radio. Focuses his energy. There is no shame in trying. If he does not try he cannot win or fail. And when he tries there is a possibility. There is hope.   
  


  
\----------   
  


  
“ _ Baby.. _ “    
  
It’s soft as a whisper. And peter nearly drops the damn thing from his arms.    
That voice. That soft warm voice. He can hear it saying his name in his dreams. Whispering sweet nothings into his ear and telling it how much he loves him in his memories.    
He is losing his mind. He knows. But why does it feel so good then?    
There’s more tears, he doesn’t even notice them anymore. The amount of times he’s been bursting out crying are reaching into the hundreds    
So, like the mad man he is. He smiles.    
  
“ You’re here.. “    
  
“ _ I am..  _ “    
  
“ I love you..”    
  
It spills from his lips before he can stop himself. He didn’t get a chance to say it before tony closed his eyes for the last time. And he wanted to.. He wanted to so badly. He’s been aching to say it. And he has no idea how much Tony wants the same.    
“  _ I love you too.. My sweet boy..  _ “    
It is comforting to finally say those words again and actually be heard. Tony smiles. He might still be invisible but that doesn’t mean he cannot  _ feel _ the warmth of joy that comes off of peter like sunshine on a rainy day. It bleeds into his very being. And tony absorbs every drop of it like a man dying of thirst in a desert.    
  
“ I can't believe I’m talking to dead people now..i’m going nuts.. “ 

  
Peter says softly as he sits down on one of the worktables. Littered with abandoned projects and broken things. He curls up and hugs the radio to his chest. As if it will somehow make this situation seem less batshit insane.   
  
“ _Maybe.._ “   
  
Tony’s voice answers softly, there’s a hint of amusement in it. And something distinctly _tony._   
Something that cannot be forged or imitated. He knows that voice. He loves that voice. Peter smiles, raising the radio a little higher, trying to hear it better.   
  
“ Tony.. I don’t understand.. How is this happening?  Why can you talk to me? Are you dead? “   
  
Too many questions, and too little time to answer them. Tony sighs, wishing he could give his boy everything he so clearly needs. Answers but most of all comfort.   
“ _I don’t know.._ “ it’s the only answer that is truthful. He won’t sell him any lies. Never has and never will.   
  
“ I don’t know if i’m really here.. Or not.. All i know is that you can’t see me. “   
  
Peter lifts the radio closer to his face, peering at it while he wipes the fresh tears from his eyes, trying to focus his vision.   
“ Are you in there? “ he asks softly as he runs the tips of his fingers over the old grained wood, following the distinct pattern in it, feeling the strange warmth that emits from the radio.  
  
“ _No baby.._ “ Tony lets out a soft chuckle, of course he wasn’t in there. But to peter everything could be possible at this point and tony understood that all too well.   
The need to wrap his arms around him is stifling.  
“ _It doesn’t matter if you can’t see me okay? I’m right here and i’m not going anywhere. Not this time. I swear darling._  “   
  
Peter’s lips curl into the smallest of smiles. He can see the sadness and grief on every part of him, but mostly his eyes. Those brown doe eyes, usually filled with life seem so empty and hollow. As if someone drained every bit of light from them.   
He cannot let this continue.. And he understands now the weavers words, warning him of the horror that would follow should he fail to find a vessel. He’ll have to wander around watching the grief take the man he loves most. Watch it break his friends and family and be helpless to do anything about it.   
He takes a deep breath, even if his lungs do not need it. And looks down on peter, who’s still clutching the radio to his chest.   
  
“ _Peter._ “   
  
“ Yeah? “   
  


“ _ I need your help. _ “    
  


  
\----------   
  


  
The door to banners lab bursts open, and a frazzled looking peter parker barely manages to stay on his feet as he stumbles inside, holding several files of paper and three different usb sticks in his teeth as he hastily closes the door with his feet and runs inside to the main table.    
Banner nearly spilled his coffee from where he’d been sitting, reading one of the philosophy books tony had gifted him a while ago. He’d never gotten around to actually reading it. And it seemed like he still wasn’t going to finish it today.    
  
“ Peter! What’s the hurry? “    
  
He sets the book aside after marking the page and stands, watching as Peter begins to frantically lay out paper after paper on the huge workdesk. The boy seems incredibly on edge..or focused. Either of the two. Peter stops laying down the files and spins on his heels to look at banner.    
  
“ Bruce. I’m going to ask a really big favor of you. “    
  
The scientist raised an eyebrow. But he wasn’t willing to shut the kid down just yet. After everything he’d been through in the past few months he deserved to at least be heard out. Though bruce shouldn’t have taken a sip of his coffee before hearing peter’s proposal.    
  
“ I need you to make me a body. “    
  
Peter just stands there, staring at him intensely while the older man nearly chokes on his drink and sputters out a barely audible  _ What?! _ as he sets his cup down and wipes his face clean.    
“ you  _ what?! _ “ he repeats again, when the coughing has seized.    
  
“ I think you heard me. I need you to make me a body “    
  
“ A Body? Jesus christ peter why? What could you possibly need a body for?! “    
  
“ I have my reasons. “    
  
There’s a strange kind of manic focus about peter that seems hauntingly familiar, it wasn’t long ago that tony bursted into the lab with some kind of crazy idea, and the similarities were too strong. The messy hair, the caffeine jitteriness. Peter was becoming more and more like tony every single day. And bruce wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.    
  
“ I don’t know where you got the idea that i have spare body parts laying around my lab that i can just magic into a human body on command, but it’s definitely not what I have in my storage lockers. “    
  
Peter frowned.    
He was counting on bruce’s help. Without it the whole plan tony had been preparing would fail before it even started. But he didn’t have his mentor’s suaveness, nor his charm.    
  
“ Bruce… I need you. I need your help. I can bring him back. “    
  
That’s when bruce’s eyes caught the picture on the table. Not just one.. Many of them. All of tony. Different positions, angles, lighting.    
The doctor let out a soft sigh, a broken heart could do many things. Drive people mad was one of those things. But bringing back the dead was impossible.   
“ Peter. You can’t bring him back. Even if I made you a body that wouldn’t change a thing. The part inside of him that made Tony,  _ tony _ .. Is gone. You know that. “    
  
There were tears in the boys eyes. And anger too, disappointment.    
“ If you won’t do it i’ll do it myself. And i’ll go all the way.. I’ll do anything you know that.. And it won’t be as good as your work. I know i sound crazy but i’m not! I can prove it to you! “    
  
Slowly bruce sat down in his chair.    
Peter had been through so much shit these past months. The boy really did deserve a break, but indulging in this could do more harm than good.    
Peter was shaking, balling his hands into fists.    
  
“ He’s still here. He’s not dead! He needs a body and I'm going to give it to him. I need your help. With all the shit we’ve been through you are really going to shy away from ghosts? “    
  
His breathing was labored, as if he was fighting against oncoming tears. Which he most certainly was.    
“ Infinite different dimensions, space demons, titans and unthinkable monsters. And you can’t believe tony’s still here when i’m telling you so? Please just trust me. You and tony made vision. We can do it again. Just with human parts. “    
  
Well. there was no denying that the kid made a good point. Despite his hesitation bruce raised his hands in defeat.    
“ Alright.. Alright.. Calm down. Even if I were to hypothetically be able to grow and make a fully functional human body. How do we know for certain that this ghost of yours is going to be able to transfer itself into it? “    
  
Peter hesitated. Thought for a moment. And then sat down as well.    
“ I.. I don’t know.. “    
  
“ Well that’s a start isn’t it? Maybe before we start making a tony stark frankenstein we should be trying to communicate with this ghost better. Hmm? “    
  
Peter deflated. Bruce was right. Even they could make a body there was no reason to believe tony could force himself into its brain, and even if he could that would still not mean he’d be all back to normal.     
He nodded.    
“ Maybe.. You’re right.. “    
  
“ Prove to me that this ghost exists. And I'll help you peter. I promise. “    
  


  
\---------   
  


  
He knows it’s probably useless trying to convince bruce that tony is really there, but he doesn’t have a choice. He walks back to the lab empty handed. But the idea of plugging the radio out of the socket scares him. What if he drops it and it breaks? It’s his only connection to Tony and the only thing allowing them to communicate.   
Without it they would be adrift at sea, stuck on their own lifeboats and unable to speak with each other.   
“ I’m back.” he says softly as he sits down next to the radio again and holds it to his chest. It clicks on and tony’s voice answers him just like before.   
  
“ _Hello baby boy. You seem upset. Did bruce say no?_  
  
“ He told me I have to prove to him you’re really there. The scientific way. That means in a controlled environment. Testing. I’m scared.. What if it doesn’t work in the lab? “   
  
Tony wished he could wrap his arms around him and assure him nothing of the sort was going to happen. But the truth was he had no idea if the testing was going to change anything. All they could do was try, failing was an option, and so was succeeding.   
  
“ _I know you’re scared and confused right now. I wish I could take it all away and just make you happy._ “  
  
“ you’ve always made me happy. “   
  
“ _Always?_ “   
  
“ Yes. “   
  
Peter lets out a sigh, he knows he has to unplug the thing and get it over with, but now that he has tony back in some form, he doesn’t want to let go again.   
  
“ _Don’t worry, Pete. You know I'm stubborn, let’s go do this. Okay?_ “   
  
“ Okay.. “   
  
“ _See you soon. I’ll be back before you can say champagne._ “ 

 

He huffs out a small chuckle as he reaches for the plug and wraps his shaking palm around the rubber.    
“ I love you, “ he says, just to make sure that if this is the last time they spoke, those words would be the ones Tony remembers forever.    
  
“ I love you too. “    
  
Tony answers shakily, and peter pulls the plug with one clean tug. The silence that follows makes his skin crawl. And the lab once again feels empty.    
He doesn’t waste any time and carries the radio down to the lab, where bruce was busy setting up the testing equipment.    
He’s shaking but he’s hiding it well, peter slowly walks into the lab and ever so gently sets the radio down on the table.    
  
“ I’m back. “ he says softly. And bruce looks up from his interactive panel where he was fiddling with the controls.    
  
“ A radio? “    
  
Peter nods, and stays close to it. Protecting it with his body, even if it’s just a hunk of wood and wires, it means so much more to him now. He would die to protect it.     
“ Yes. Tony’s radio. He uses it to speak with me. “    
  
“ Oh.. “    
  
Bruce wants to say something, but peter’s glare prevents him from doing so. He promised to help and so he has to let the boy do what he deems necessary to prove to him tony is really speaking from beyond the grave. He will indulge him.    
  
“ Alright then, you can set it down right there in the testing cabin, i want to do a base reading before you plug it in so we can see if anything changes. “    
Peter does as he’s told, and backs off closing the glass protective door before anxiously waiting.    
Bruce presses a few buttons and the machinery scans the offered object.    
  
“ Nothing out of the ordinary.. Go ahead and plug it in. let’s see what the ghost radio has to say then. “    
  
He runs the test over and over again, but the results are shockingly no anomaly. They remain consistent.    
“ This.. This is weird.. “    
  
“ What does it say? “    
  
“ The.. The radio is giving off massive amounts of electromagnetic energy.. It’s.. off the charts.. “    
  
Peter lights up, and walks up to the console next to bruce.    
“ what does that mean? “ he asks. And bruce shakes his head slowly, frowning.    
  
“ For once, I don't really know. How about you turn it on? I want to run some different scans. “    
  
Peter takes a deep breath and walks up to the glass, pressing his hand against it. The glass is cold but even from this distance he can feel that strange energy coming from the wooden radio. 

  
“ I don’t have to. Tony. if you’re there.. Please, turn it on? “    
  
There’s a silence and peter waits with bated breath, he knows in his heart that tony is there. But what if something happened? What if the connection is broken?    
His heart, thumping nervously in his chest, makes a leap of joy when he hears the familiar buzzing and click of the power button being flicked.    
  
Nothing beats being proven wrong when you didn’t want to be right in the first place, bruce feels his chest tighten in anticipation as he watched the switch flick entirely on it’s own. 

There’s no words coming out of him for a good long minute, he simply lacks the vocabulary.    
  
It shouldn’t be possible. It shouldn’t be happening.    
  
“  _ Hey there, strongest avenger.  _ “    
  
Tony’s voice rings true through the glass protection, and it’s him. It’s undeniably him, there’s no doubt about it. There’s some distortion, but Bruce  _ knows  _ his best friend. And he knows that whatever is speaking through that radio is no trick or deception.    
  
“ Tony?.. “ he chokes out, eyes clearly glazed over with unshed tears. “ _ Jesus man _ .. is… is that you? “    
  
Peter watches silently as bruce comes to the realisation that he was right. That it wasn’t some maddening illusion or a tired mind making up what his heart wanted to be true.    
He smiles a little, at least he’s not the only one who loved Tony more than anything.    
  


“  _ Not jesus no. But pretty damn close if I do say so myself.  _ “    


  
“ Tony.. you crazy bastard.. “    
  



	5. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something changes, and brings new hope to our favourite couple and their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay, sorry for the late update guys, i have been struggling once again with this chapter.  
> It's a bit shorter than usual, and i really hope you guys don't mind. 
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful beta's  
> Sam and Kat <3 I love you two! 
> 
> And as always thank you for commenting, it really does help to stay motivated when you're getting feedback!!!

Bruce needs to steady himself on the control panel, his hand gripping the metal tightly.    
Something like this has never happened before. Or it has, but it went unrecorded or was hidden from public knowledge. Either way, they found themselves in a situation that required a sensitive touch.    
Of course his emotions are stronger than his scientific mind, he smiles, and shakes his head.    
  
“ You.. You’re here. I don’t understand.. How? “    
  
“  _ That’s a long story i’m not yet sure about myself bud. _ “    
  
Tony’s voice chimes back, it sounds as if he’s smiling.     
Peter watches from the sidelines, fondly observing two friends reuniting. They talk for a while before bruce lets out a sigh. It’s time for some more tests, he looks at peter, almost as if he’s asking for permission to turn on the scanner.    
Neither of them knows what will happen if he does.    
  
Peter knows that look, he knows what bruce is asking of him.    
But why should it be his decision? He’s already carrying everything else on his shoulders. It’s not something he can decide over.    
So he turns to the radio again, his expression grim.    
  
“ Tony.. “    
  
“ _ I know doll. I know what happens next. _ “   
  
“ Do you.. Do you say yes to it? “    
  
“  _ Yeah.. Don’t have much of a choice if I want to get back to you. Do i?  _ “    
  
Peter smiles softly. It amazed him how even now tony could find something positive in all this mess. And he knows that if this is the way home, if their situations were reversed, he wouldn’t hesitate to follow it either.   
Though it sparks fear in him. What if something goes wrong? This is all they have, the radio is the only thing keeping them in contact. Losing that would destroy their hope of getting tony back.    
In the end his love for Tony, and the promise of having him back triumphs over his fear of losing him again.    
  
He turns to bruce and nods, newfound determination burning in his heart.    
  
“ Do it.. Let’s get this over with. “ 

  
Bruce moves towards the control panel and lets out a sigh, his shoulders tense, knowing how much is riding on this. He’s no idiot.    
So he steels himself before sitting down and flipping the switch.    
  
What follows is hours of meticulous scanning and testing, boring if it hadn’t been about something so terribly important. Nerve wracking to everyone involved. Tony paces around the room, phazing through tables and objects in his ghost like form. Peter sits at a desk, nervously bouncing his leg while Bruce stares at his computer screen.    
  
They don’t talk. The silence is deafening.   
  
But the monotony gets broken the moment bruce flips another switch. A laser that is used for deep core analysis beams down onto the radio. And the room is filled with a loud whirring noise and a flash of light that most definitely  _ shouldn’t be happening _ . The lights blind them, the sound is ear piercing and peter and bruce cry out in pain, both falling from their seats as the noise continues, so sudden that it has them wriggling in pain on the floor.    
  
“ What is that! “ Peter screams. “ I don’t know! “ bruce yells back as tries desperately to pull himself up from the ground so he can turn off the machine. But the flash of light has become a true light show, hues of blue and white emanating from the radio and the glass cabin it’s in. That is when the protective glass shows tears and breaks. Tiny splinters of bullet proof glass flying everywhere through the room as it all but explodes. The radio is obscured from view by the light.    
  
“ Tony! ” Peter shrieks. But there is no answer.    
  


  
-   


  
  
There’s a flash of light washing over him, he can hear the cries of peter in the distance, but it’s distorted as his surroundings give way to the brightest of white. He’s falling again, grasping at nothing trying to hold on to something.    
“ Peter! “    
He screams, but there’s no response, the bright white turns into blue, and it feels as if he’s being pulled on from every direction, his very being tearing at the seams. Desperately he tries to go back to where he was before. But it no longer exists, he is falling and the window into the lab is getting smaller and smaller faster and faster. Until it is but a dot on a map.    
The pulling is getting stronger, and he fights it, he does, screaming as the pain he shouldn’t feel overwhelms him, and breaks him apart.    
  
He tears into pieces, one by one he is broken down into the smallest of forms. His atoms changing and yet sentient in their own way. There is light and dark, there is life and death, he is confused whether or which he is currently in.    
Then, the blue gets more intense, and he feels as if he’s trying to swim in a pool, while the water is slowly churning and sucking him under into a vortex.    
He becomes one within it. He is it, and it is him.    
  
Information.    
It floods his mind in an unrelenting wave that never breaks on the shore, overwhelming him, forcing him to breathe in everything, he cannot move, he cannot speak. His sight is flooded by indigo blue and it bleeds into everything until it’s all he can see. 

Images begin to show to him in rapid succession.    
Animals. Earth. Space. Time. humans. Female. male . children. math. Science.    
Every subject and idea that ever existed, Surging into him, a breath that doesn’t stop. A rhythm that never ceases.     
  
_ What is happening to me? _ __  
__  
He doesn’t get the chance to think. There’s no room for it. Not enough for both the stream of pure data and information that is binding itself to him.    
Articles. Pictures. Schematics . secret files.    
He cries as his mind is broken open and all of the information is forced into him. More and more and more until he feels like bursting open.    
  
And then.    
It’s over.    
He feels himself falling again but this time he feels familiar, and when he finally opens his eyes again his eyes are no longer a pair of two. It is hundreds of them.    


 

  
-

 

  
“ What the hell did you do?! Bruce! Answer me! “    
Peter’s hands are digging into the scientists shirt, as he lifts him above his head and shakes him. Frustrated. Terrified. But most of all sobbing and screaming at the top of his lungs.    
  
“  _ What did you do bruce! Where is he!  _ “    
  


“ I don’t know peter, I don’t know! “ bruce repeats, over and over.   
  
“ Why is he not answering me! “    
  
Bruce can feel a shudder going down his spine, peter’s hidden strength shows how dangerous the boy can really be if he wanted to.    
They were lucky to have him on their side.    
He can feel the guilt nagging at him, in the back of his mind. A growing fear that he might have just erased his best friend from existence. There’s tears in his eyes too.    
“ Peter I don’t know! I’m sorry! _ I’m sorry! _ “ 

 

The boy breaks. And drops the frightened scientist back onto his feet. Stumbling backwards as the grief begins all over again.    
It’s too much. He couldn’t do it the first time, how was he going to do it again? All over. All over and nothing left.    
He chokes on his own tears as he slowly crumbles onto the floor. Clutching his own body as he slinks down against the table he’d been seated at before.    
  
“ He’s gone..  _ He’s gone _ .. “    
  
The weight of the loss comes barreling down at him twice as hard. Cracking his bones and splitting his skull. His heart a fragile crushed little thing. Life seems so unfair when over and over everything is taken from you.    
  
But not this time.    
  
The faint sound of electricity and crackling of the room’s speaker system pulls their attention, slowly peter perks up, wiping his face.    
“ What’s… what’s that? “    
  
Bruce seems just as puzzled.    
Time seems to stop in it’s tracks when peter hears the familiar warm voice coming from the room’s speakers.    
  
“ _ pete??... bruce? .. are you there? _ “    
  
It no longer comes from the wooden radio, that still stands on the examination table. Burn and singe marks on the old wood. Nothing that can’t be fixed with some love and care. 

Peter can feel the relief wash over him again, he stumbles a little and catches himself on the countertop. This emotional rollercoaster is killing him, literally. His mind feels like glass, already cracking at the edges. There’s no way he can do this again.    
  
“ Tony… tony ? “    
  
Bruce just stands there, gaping at the ceiling like a confused fish out of water.    
  
“ Tony?.. What the hell happened? Where are you? “    
  
“ _ I don’t know.. But.. i can see you _ .”   


  
  
-

  
  


It’s not the same. 

He doesn’t know what changed exactly, besides his body being gone now. It feels weird, floating around in everything without a form. Yet he can still feel his limbs as if they are there. Some senses are dulled. Some are heightened, like they are spread out over a larger area than before.   
He tries to move the phantom limbs. He tries blinking his non existent eyes.    
But nothing happens.    
That’s when a lightbulb goes off inside his head.    
  
Without a body, perhaps he should stop seeing everything from a physical perspective. instead of trying to move a limb that isn’t there, he focuses, Thinking instead about moving it. But not trying to.    
  
Peter screams, tony’s attention snaps back onto his boy. His beautiful peter. And watches in horror as one of the robotic arms that are mounted in the wall for experiments begins to move.    
The information. The endless eyes everywhere. The rooms taking shape. He is everywhere all at once because he can.    
  
What else could be everywhere all at once? What could have no body and see with a thousand eyes? What could move limbs without having them? What could speak without a mouth?    
  
_ His AI interface.. _ __  
__  
That’s when everything begins to make sense. And the puzzle pieces in his head begin to fall into their places. His thousand eyes are no longer overwhelming and he smiles even without a mouth.    
  
“  _ Holy shit…  _ “    
  
“ Tony? “ comes the frightened whimper from his beloved.    
  
“ __ Peter.. I’m inside.. I’m inside the the Mainframe.  “    


 

\-    


 

  
At first he feels as if the room had begun to spin. Peter groans as his overloaded mind tries to understand what just happened.    
“ inside.. Inside what? “    
  
“ _ The mainframe pete.. It’s where my AI goes.. From where they operate. _ “    
  
“ How the hell did you get in  _ there?!  _ “ peter whimpers, it’s clear he’s frustrated and in way over his head, he runs his hands up and down his face. Maybe if he tries hard enough he will wake up from this confusing nightmare.    
  
“  _ I don’t know baby boy.. All i know is that.. _ “    
  
“ what? “    
  
“  _..That i think i just figured out how we’re going to get me into my new body.. And back to you.  _ “    
  
Peter stills as his mind catches up to Tony’s. The man was always a bit faster than him, he was a genius after all. could it really be that easy? Did bruce’s mistake by accident solve their problem?    
Was he really going to download his fiancé’s consciousness into a new body?    
  
Yes. there was no doubt about it.    
  
  
  
  



End file.
